Socializing Vs. Social Media

“Use social media for good and lift others up, not tear them down. Stay on the high road. Keep your peace.” ― Germany Kent

I grew up in the ’80s where if you needed to get a hold of someone, you had to use the phone. For me, it was one of the most terrifying things I ever had to do. Hearing that long ring tone and knowing someone at the other end would answer. If I was lucky, it would ring and ring for ages and I would hang up, feeling relieved that there was no answer.  We had those rotary phones and then transitioned to cordless phones and sometimes an answering machine would pick up on the other end. I never left a single message. Then seemingly out of nowhere came cell phones, then texting, and here we are now with social media.

For a person with social anxiety, having social media is a blessing. Sure, we still have cyberbullying and tons of negativity that at times it becomes too much. It can also be a great way to socialize without having to be surrounded by people. In my case, social media has been keeping me sane, especially with the right content.

Though I am apprehensive about sending friend requests due to fear of rejection, I can give my opinion on so many things. I get nervous when I post anything but have the luxury of proofreading what I post. I read and reread and sometimes read for a fourth time what I’m about to post just to make sure that I don’t embarrass myself. This is something I could never do in an actual social setting. Once I speak, the words are out there for everyone to judge. On social media, I get to control what I say and once I am sure of what that is, I go ahead and post it.

Of course, I still get nervous. Once I post something, the panicky feeling begins. At times my thoughts get so out of control that I end up deleting a post altogether because I feel people will laugh at what I have posed. This is how my anxious brain gets out of control:

-What if what I posted was inappropriate?

-What if I misspelled a word?

-What if they laugh?

-What if I was not though enough?

-What if I offend people?

-What if my post gets deleted for being inappropriate?

-What if nobody likes my post?  

Maybe you think it would be easier for me to just go out and socialize because, after all, I still get anxious about it. Maybe you are right. However, using social media as a way to connect with others has been a lot easier than social interaction.

SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) is debilitating not only emotionally but physically. The accelerated heartbeat, the shaking, and tension take their toll. If you see me on the street you probably think I'm a normal person, nothing physically wrong. This is the problem with a mental illness. You cannot see how much pain I am in.