Going for a Walk

“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

By Rey P.

My New Year’s resolution this year is to get out of the house and walk more. You’d think walking is one of the most relaxing things to do. To exercise and get your body moving. As a socially anxious person, I can tell you that walking outside is yet another trigger. Sometimes the anxiety gets so bad that as soon as I step out of the house, I change my mind and turn around.

When I do make it out of the house I deal with intrusive thoughts from the very beginning. I usually wear earbuds and dark sunglasses to avoid making eye contact with those I may encounter along my route. The music that I listen to helps me keep focused and also as an attempt to drown my thoughts. This is what I deal with while I am out walking:

I look ahead and see someone walking towards me and I begin to get nervous. What will they think of me? What if they laugh at how I look? What if they think I dress funny?

Living in a big city isn’t ideal for a pleasant walk. Too many people around. I walk past with my head down and once they have passed, I release my breath. This happens every single time I encounter anyone. Next are the drivers. I come upon a stop sign where a car waits for me to cross. I immediately feel the driver’s eyes on me. I walk as fast as I can, with y head down. I dare not look up. I feel if I do, the drivers and passengers will all be looking at me. Judging me, making fun of the way I walk.  Now I have to cross the main street where too many cars await the green light. I walk across the street as they stare (at least I feel they are). Same thoughts run through my anxious mind. They are surely judging how I walk, how I look, and what I’m wearing.

By the time I get home, I am both physically and emotionally exhausted, and it takes me quite a while to gather myself.

My space at home is much too small for a treadmill. I could go out, drive to a more empty area, hiking trails, a park, the beach. But being away from home for a long time makes me even more anxious. My walking route is about a 5-mile radius from home (my comfort zone). On the rare occasion, I do go out to a park, especially when it appears to be empty. Joining a gym is completely out of the question.

There are a lot of things that are difficult for a socially anxious person to do. No, we are not lazy to go on walks or to exercise. We simply cannot function as a normal person. We need preparation time, not only in body as far as stretching and warming up. We need to prepare mentally.

If your loved one is struggling with social anxiety (or general anxiety for that matter) please, please, be patient and kind. Don’t push them or make them feel like they're lazy. Support them, encourage them in a way that isn’t judgmental. Most important, understand them. Be kind.